Friday, December 11, 2009

What Is Blaftatronic Halwa?

Blaftatronic Halwa is

1) Stale, bus-stand halwa which causes stomach problems exactly 15 minutes into your 7 hour bus journey

2) Halwa that has something in it that is either soft, moldy cashews or partially fossilized raisins and when you eat it (which you do, because you are stupid), it tastes like french fries.

3) Halwa made from broken motherboards and battery acid.

4) The halwa you tried to make once that not only solidified into something much harder than granite, it swallowed up the frying pan, a small spoon and three casual acquaintances who were standing too close to the stove at the time.

5) The brand new blog from Blaft Publications

If you answered 2, that's really gross and possibly reflects badly on your eating habits and diminishes your worth as a person. But if you answered 5, YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT!!! The Blaft Blog has finally arrived and we all of us together are so much looking forward to the blaftastic things they will spark and sparkle the internetz with.

First post is an interview with Myself. Here is excerpt:-

they see me just walking through the fields that are all droughted and stuff and they’re like oh my god you have to play for our team, you’re so awesome and I’m like no and I’m sad and emaciated but I can speak really good English so they’re like oh no please you have to, you speak good English and I’m like no but then I say yes and then we go for the tournament and the other team are like playing dirty and they have black hair and they keep glaring at us in slow motion but we persevere and we win because we are awesome and unconventional and it starts to rain and I say oh my village needs this rain and I am here in this rain and my village is over there and it’s not in the rain and everyone cries but I don’t because I am awesome and unconventional.

Click to read the rest. Go on, you know you want to.

k

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