Friday, June 11, 2010

words to tell you what to do, words are working hard for you

This sticker is controversial because it has the word 'reading' in it. Reading is very controversial and will probably get you into way more trouble than sexy will. I thought of what reading and sexy have in common.

1. People will say you are a bad person because you read too much, have too much sexy, don't read enough or don't have enough sexy.

2. Reading and sexy can get you in real big trouble because people like to get upset over what other people read and who they have sexy with. This is especially unfortunate when the people who are upset have big guns.

3. Reading too much will make you go blind and crazy. Having too much sexy will make you go blind and crazy.

You Can't Take It With You When You Go

Deepa D recently posted about a mass email that was sent out by the police department of a university after a student was sexually assaulted. She also linked to an essay on rape culture which I think you should read even though it will probably make you feel bad. The mass email listed a number of precautionary measures that I didn't really notice the fuckwittery of because like all good Indian women, I already know a sexual assault is my fault even before it happens so precautionary measures are very important because they might save me and if they don't, that's just because I'm a woman and it's all my fault. Among the interesting things the precautionary measures suggests is to 'Carry minimal amounts of valuables'. Which is indeed sound and very fine advice if you're dealing with thieflets. Rapists are after a different set of "valuables" altogether, which I guess means us ladies should leave our very valuable boobies and vajayjays at home before going out. And I say ladies because this only applies to women because only women get raped, silly. Also only women have boobies. This is not true. Some men also have boobies but I have a strong feeling these boobies are not considered "valuables". I believe that 'minimal amounts of valuables' means we should consider going out with one boobie, which could essentially mean the difference between a rape and a raperape. Because we all know there's a huge difference between rape and raperape.

Does anyone know what rape really means anyway? It's an uncomfortable question to ask because talking about rape is such a bummer. I think the general understanding is that 'rape' is a very badass, irreverent word to use because it has something to do with fucking and violence and it's all very exciting like a movie and who doesn't love a good movie! Using the word over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again will hopefully make people think that you are all about fucking and violence and you are very exciting like a movie and who doesn't love a good movie! Does it matter that rape is a violent sexual crime but for some reason, people seem to be focusing a lot on the 'sexual' part and not so much on the 'violent' and 'crime' part? Isn't it a drag when chick bloggers talk about rape?

And Now. For Something Completely Different.

- Specifically because it is everything. And it is nothing. It is. And it isn't. It's SO easy to join. It's so EASY to JOIN. Hebbo!

Jellyfish- Specifically because of jelly fish and jellyfish. There's a difference. If you don't know the difference you will die.

Malk- Specifically for 'You're going to shoot me if I shoot myself? That doesn't make any sense!' and 'You're like a brother to me! Your hand is like a brother to me!'

- Specifically for 'Dude', 'You all everybody' and 'My Baby!'

- Specifically because it has the words awesome and unicorns in it. It also has the word fucking in it. Fucking is such a badbad werd but nobody really knows why. Fecking is not such a bad word. Fycking does not have anything to do with knives or Iceland but I feel like it should.



shruti said...

hello km!
I see it is another happy saturday. you have said some very wise things, the import of most of which eludes me right now, but I am very certain, have a nice cold feeling inside, that they are very wise.
and good on you for talking about rape, truly as you say dismissed for being very badass, and one is either lame or activisty or a not very good indian woman, definitely also oversexed,for talking about such sexsex things. Never mind that its not abt sex.
Now, one q which I meant to ask yesterday but the day ran off- is there a way to write to you somewhere on this page other than a comment box? Have very important kommnication for you. of course you're winning a million dollars, but you have to give me your bank account number..
do let know.

kuzhali manickavel said...

you can get in touch with me at i feel it is somewhat racist and un-Indian to win a million dollars instead of a million rupees but ok, i will kindly adjust with the dollars

Scherezade said...

"What does rape really mean?"

According to Kristen Stewart it is equivalent to excessive celebrityhood. In West Africa, where there are no pasty boy vampires to cut onions or soar tress with , women might disagree with that comparison.

(In hindsight, though, the responses to her comment from some of the rape crisis groups were more appalling than the comment itself.)

kuzhali manickavel said...

hai scherezade :), i read about Kristen Stewart's comment and thought it was as bizarre as Whoopi Goldberg's raperape comment. Some of the ways I've heard the word used are truly flabbergasting, like 'my shoes are raping me'. really? you're comparing shoebite to rape? the use of the word 'rape' seems to be like how people use the word 'kill' without thinking about what it means and how they use 'fuck' without knowing what it means. I guess this happens with a lot of words but with 'rape', I think it's symptomatic of our attitudes to rape and that's not cool and also scary.

And thanks for the link, reminded me of this quote from the essay I linked to in the post

"Rape culture is rape being used as a weapon, a tool of war and genocide and oppression. Rape culture is rape being used as a corrective to "cure" queer women. Rape culture is a militarized culture and "the natural product of all wars, everywhere, at all times, in all forms. " (

better stop being all feministy now

Scherezade said...

The other side of this coin is the assumed nature of how or what constitutes rape. Of how hardcore it is supposed to be for it to register on the radar. Even the language that patients use during therapy is symptomatic - "I was assaulted by ..." as opposed to "He assaulted me.." It is as though she sits there assuming responsbility for someone else actions.
A large percentage of assault victims spend a chunk of their lives in an incident post mortem.
This is partly due to the social need for rape victims to never forget what happened. Or how they have been broken forever.

(ok. no more angry shrink talk.)

kuzhali manickavel said...

-Even the language that patients use during therapy is symptomatic - "I was assaulted by ..." as opposed to "He assaulted me.." It is as though she sits there assuming responsbility for someone else actions.-

so true, i hadn't even thought of that. it's unnerving to see how much of the language we use is like this.

-This is partly due to the social need for rape victims to never forget what happened. Or how they have been broken forever.-

yes. this.

shruti said...

I've been reading that piece on rape culture and just read both of your comments and I feel much too angry to say anything. It's always left to women to be angry about the way rape is spoken of, 'accepted' as a thing that 'happens' instead of something to refuse to accept as bizarrely, normal. It's everyone's acceptance that it will happen that's scarier. A friend told me about the date rape thing in indian cities now and how you had to be careful accepting a drink. yes, but..don't know where to start.
it's sickening how it's always the victim's 'fault'.
It fits in with the overall sexist approach and response. A 28 yr old woman was killed by a drunk driver last week in delhi and for 4 or 5 days they couldnt find out her identity. The killer was some MP's drunk on money, booze and his fuckall power young son who paid bail and was out in something like 3 hours, while all that the papers would say for those 5 days was since it happened at 3 am and she was in a taxi, 'she must have been part of an escort service'. Where does one even begin to be angry? starting from where? Rage is small and only you have a burst blood vessel.
I'm not adding anything of intelligence here of course. Just something we all know and just fight I suppose, nothing's changing soon. But there's no choice with fighting either, it ist a thing of choice afterall.

Hey, you didnt have to give me your email address,thanks:) I can imagine you mightn't be comfortable sharing that. I wont write to it assuming that'd be the case, adn will write here.
What I wanted to write was much too lighthearted, and it doesnt fit today after thinking and reading up on something like rape.
So, another time, soon.
But, hold onto that account, the money is coming. And why rupees, and not dollars? Because it's more rupees that way. What would you rather have, a million dollars or a million rupees?You can make choice, I will inform the nigerian, there will be a cut for him and me also of course. small. It's never a million dollars whole, scams everywhere.But I'm trying to reform.

But I learnt a new and valuable thing today, to leave behind my valuables when I go out of the house, so rapists arent tempted. men come with such nice advice. Didnt occur to a single person on the police force or univ board that this was laughably useless advice. Impotent suggestion in fact. What a nice word to think of wrt a rapist.

kuzhali manickavel said...

i think it would be worse if we weren't angry about this.

that's my email address for inquiries/enquiries so you can freely send any information regarding million dollar rupees. please do not send your valuables.

shailja said...

Thank you, Khuzali. Been meaning to write about rape culture, and now I don't have to because you've done it so excellently.

And on the subject of not-rape, here's a blurb I posted about you recently on a Kenyan writers listserve:

And on the subject of writers who uninspire me - Khuzali Manickavel.
Because even her blog titles trigger that back-of-throat tickle which turns into snorts and tears of helpless laughter within 6 lines - and maybe some people can type while doubled up with laughter, but I can't. Sample below. Read her now so you can say you did when she
blows up (soon. very very soon)

kuzhali manickavel said...

hai shailja, thanks very much i say, i am honored and humbled to uninspire :)

Paras said...

At first I was thinking this university in question is my university because something same same but different (actually not) happened in my uni too, and everyone was like why did the girl have to go to that road in the night? Why did she have to party like that with hot drinks and all with boys because all boys want one thing, but they want it more than one time, and sometimes all of them want the same thing at one time.

So these boys full of sexsex thoughts drugged the girl and even slipped her an I-Pill (Power to the liberated Indian woman!) next morning. But fortunately they are in jail and the uni doesn't blame the victim.

This also reminds me of a scene in Persepolis where the cops tell Marji to stop running to school 'because her behind makes obscene gestures when she runs'. And she yells at them 'So stop looking at my ass!'

Also I see your email is mentioned here, so if you are willing to co-operate I can send you email about ground breaking pyramid scheme of Sona-Chandi-Plutonium Chywanprash, which is now proven to give you a sixth RapeRape sense, so you know that you must stash your valuables away when a boy with a box cutter and a sexsex thoughts comes to you.

kuzhali manickavel said...

-'because her behind makes obscene gestures when she runs'-

was it showing them middle finger?

Isn't it neat how you can't say pregnantpregnant, or dead-dead because that would just be silly but you can say raperape?

soin said...

when i was kutti payan tamizh padams had me thinking rape had something to do with breasts.coz all heriones cover it when villans come to i know why people blame the ladies.the ladies were covering the wrong part.cha

kuzhali manickavel said...

if a lady is not covering her wrong parts, you are not watching tamil film you are watching blue film.

soin said...

blue films are just like normal tamil films except some scenes are blue

kuzhali manickavel said...

this is so true

shruti said...

Not to depress you, but here's a link I thought I should post here.

kuzhali manickavel said...

thanks for the link shruti

-What do we want—an India at war with its women?-

good question.

shruti said...

I know.
after its poor, its muslim, its tribals, its 'chinkies''s a long list clearly.

kuzhali manickavel said...



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