Saturday, October 16, 2010

Conversations- The Yellow Leddies Coalition Committee Organization Meeting

S- The good news is that The Yellow Leddies Coalition Committee Organization meeting will be held as scheduled.

K- Yay alcohol!

S- Now about the alcohol,

K- Yay!

S- One of our Yellow Leddies just had jaundice, as you know.

K- Yes, she was a true Yellow Leddies.

S- So she can’t have any alcohol because she might die or something so it was thought that as a sign of solidarity, we would not have any alcohol at this Yellow Leddies Coalition Committee Organization meeting.

K- I don’t understand.

S- We’re not having any alcohol.

K- I don’t understand.

S- No alcohol. Thanni kadayaathu. Vellam illa. Any idea how to say in Telugu?

K- No. Although I believe that the Telugu word for beer is beeru.

S- So if we just put one –ulu on the Tamil version we should get Telugu version, no? Beeru kadayaathulu.

K- That sounds very Telugu to me.

Anyway, we must have some other form of entertainments instead of alcohol.

K- How about Uno?

S- You want to substitute alcohol with Uno?

K- Oh! How about an exotic dancer? I know one called SexehBewbies.

S- How does your brain go from Uno to exotic dancers called SexehBewbies?

K- SexehBewbies likes playing Uno.

S- Is that part of her act?

K- SexehBewbies is a dude.

Oh! Like a drag queen?

K- No, he’s a very generic kind of dude who likes to lift his shirt up and show off his bewbies when he’s dancing. So racist of you to assume all exotic dancers are women.

S- You think our Yellow Leddies would be appreciating exotic male dancer called SexehBewbies?

K- Probably not as much as the alcohol. But whattodo.

S- You ask and tell, ah?

K- He will say yes only. He is a very public fellow.


K- But I said you were exotic male dancer.

SexehBewbies- So?

K- Dancing to Dandanakka Sarruku is not exotic.

SexehBewbies- Well if you had been American it would be very exotic for your face.

K- But I’m not American. None of us are.

SexehBewbies- Right. But if you were.

K- But we’re not.

SexehBewbies- But if you were.

K- This is the best conversation ever.

SexehBewbies- There is just more scope for rhythmic shirt lifting with the Dandanakka Sarruku song. And I can wear my onenumber lungi also.

K- You only have onenumber lungi? Chee. A real Tamil man would have millions of lungis. Millions and millions and millions.

SexehBewbies- Yes but I make up for my lack of lungis by having a moustache that curls up at the ends. Slightly. Sometimes.

K- You mean one side sticks out and looks somewhat.

SexehBewbies- IT CURLS UP.

K- Ok.

SexehBewbies- IT DOES!

K- Hang on, one another call is coming.


S- One of our Yellow Leddies has sent me a message asking ‘Will he be exposing?’

K- Exposing what?

S- I don’t know.

K- Like investigative journalism exposing?

S- Hang on, I’ll ask.


S- Ok she said not exposing like investigative journalism. Exposing like exposing peanuts.

K- Exposing peanuts?

S- That’s what she texted, ‘Will he be exposing peanuts?’

I don’t know if he has any peanuts. Hang on, I’ll ask.


SexehBewbies- I guess I could buy some. What do you want me to do with them?

K- Maybe eat them in an exotic way? Like with a knife and fork or something? Or chopsticks?

SexehBewbies- Or I could throw them around I guess. In an exotic manner.

K- You could do that.

SexehBewbies- I better go get some and start practicing. I’ve never danced with peanuts before.


S- About that peanuts thing.

K- He’s just gone to get some.

S- Apparently the question was ‘will he be exposing penis’.

K- How did you manage to read ‘penis’ as ‘peanuts’?

S- Slight confusions happened because this Yellow Leddies likes to spell it ‘peanus’. Which is actually kinda neat.

K- It is!

S- So will he?

K- I don’t know. Lemme ask.


SexehBewbies- But I bought all these peanuts!

K- Does this mean no?

SexehBewbies- My house is filled with peanuts! What am I going to do with all these fucking peanuts?!

K- I can understand if you want to say no if maybe the shy is coming for you.

SexehBewbies- I can’t find my fucking bathroom chappals because they’re somewhere under all these fucking bags of fucking peanuts!

K- Ok, Imma just tell them no because I have a feeling this means no.


K- Are you guys sure you don’t want peanuts instead? Because peanuts can totally happen right now. Peanuts abundance is happening.

S- Here’s the thing. A number of Yellow Leddies are saying forget exotic male dancer and just do alcohol for the meeting.

K- What about solidarity for jaundicecase?

S- Solidarity and all don’t want.

K- But SexehBewbies bought all these peanuts.

S- How much? So much?

K- SO much.

S- Ok, hang on.


K- So the bad news is that you can’t show us your penis. Which must pain you greatly because I know dudes like doing that kind of thing all the time.

SexehBewbies- We do. It’s a wonder we keep our pants on at all.

K- The good news is that The Yellow Leddies Coalition Committee Organization has agreed to buy all those peanuts from you so we can eat them at the meeting as sidedish for alcohol maindish.

SexehBewbies- No solidarity for the jaundicecase then?

K- Solidarity don’t want. Also the jaundicecase can’t come so it doesn't make any sense to be solidarity for someone who isn’t going to be there anyway.

SexehBewbies- Especially if you weren’t going to be solidarity in the first place.

K- Exactly. And it has been decided that you will be invited and made an honorary Yellow Leddies.

SexehBewbies- I am truly honored, humbled and squee. Am I the phust dude to ever be elected a Yellow Leddie everever?

K- Actually no. We are having a number of Yellow Leddies Gents Fellows. I think you may be the phust gents fellow called SexehBewbies to ever be elected a Yellow Leddie though.

SexehBewbies- Oh is it? Then you should give me an award, no?

K- We’ll give you some peanuts.


shruti said...

I truly fell off my chair laughing!
'Well if you had been American it would be very exotic for your face. '
I dont know if anyone non-tamil is going to get that, but I hope they do--I was starting laughing there when the rest just got too much, no point filling up comment space with your post!
Gawd, well one hello to new sexy yellow leddies. Only why they're all called yellow in the first place when only one had jaundice will be an abiding mystery like universe and men showing peanuts.
Ho. Bloody hell! got to go wipe my eyes.

kuzhali manickavel said...

linkless shruti, i hope you did not injure yourself when you fell off your chair. this one time, i heard about this aunty who fell in the bathroom and her foot hit this stool and her little toe fell off.

this doesn't really have anything to do with what you said, except you fell off a chair and her toe was decapitated by a stool. which is like a chair but not really.

shruti said...

I uunarstand, more life's crazies. Thank you for your concern, :)) most mercifully I did not lose a toe as I did not fall in the bathroom. sorry for the aunty who did. she not happy. Chair was low, no bruise even.

are you attending the yello leddies meeting, now that there's alcohol and peanuts. the exotic dancer..should not have been refuse, he was so enthusiastic. for him, I'd have caught train and attended:(

kuzhali manickavel said...

don't afraid, alcohol and peanuts will be consumed on your behalf. also, sexehbewbies will be so pleased to hear that someone would have actually caught a train to come and see his exotic face.

shruti said...

okay, that's fine then. I hope you'll all consume lots

buddy said...

this is epic hilariousness!

ina bak said...

It is very good for them to decide to have alcohol at the meeting. btw, i think they should invite me to the YLCCOM because i also am a yellow ledi, I mean, in a greater and racial scheme, so i could having beeru and peanuts and see SexehBewbies dancing Dandanakka Sarruku and taking pics of him in a exotic manner if he likes to be exposed!

Aishwarya said...

I wish to hire this man to perform at my boyfriend's birthday party.

kuzhali manickavel said...

@ shruti- don't be fear, it is the patriotic duty of all yellow leddies to consume lots

@ buddy- thanks for reading i say, much appreciating :)

@ ina- i believe the YLCCOM wud invite you because you think alcohol is a good idea. this is important when you consider that this meeting ran the risk of having Uno as an alcohol replacement at one point

kuzhali manickavel said...

ohai aishwarya, no problem, he is a very public fellow only

Bikerdude said...

Bwaaahaha - you are complete insane in membrane person I say. And I am meaning this as compliment. Kindly receive and oblige. I shall go back and do some more blag lurking now. Yuvars friendly.

kuzhali manickavel said...

ohai bikerdude, thanksya i am appreciating so much yours appreciating :)

Chettinad Cow Girl said...

Can you please send me the application form in sets of four, that I need to fill in to become a Yellow Leddies? Also will there be some gentoo penguins? Otherwise I am not so sure...

kuzhali manickavel said...

the necessary applications have been sent to you via sea mail. we usually have gentoo penguins but you'll have to provide a written statement along with your application that you will not instigate any violence among them because that can get very messy.


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