Saturday, January 30, 2010

Conversations- The Importance of Seeing Snooki

6 comments
K- You know what I hate about Indian TV? There’s nothing to watch. Like, nothing.

S- Unless you’re still living in the socialist Doordarshan era, there’s about 900 channels to watch now.

K- There’s no Jersey Shore. I want to watch Jersey Shore.

S- Why?

K- There’s someone called Snooki on it and she got punched by some guy.

S- Snooki is a person?

K- Yeah, she’s Snooki. She got punched by some guy.

S- Well that’s always a big incentive to watch a TV show.

K- It’s not just that, Jersey Shore is about how real Jersey people live in the real Jersey. Where is Jersey anyway, is it in Chicago? Is it where mobsters come from?

S- It’s in Canada, right behind Alaska.

K- No way, really? Anyway, I just want to see what all the fuss is about with Snooki. And The Situation.

S- What situation?

K- The Situation is this guy but he’s not the guy that punched Snooki. The Situation used to be an exotic dancer which I think means he used to be a stripper.

S- This conversation is giving me a headache.

K- Snooki said she would change the world by installing a tanning bed in every home.

S- She would probably get wiped out by India’s Whitening Cream Mafia. They are super deadly.

K- Really?

S- The Whitening Cream Mafia is so super deadly they can make people glow like tube lights. They can also make people think that glowing like tube lights is a good and beautiful thing.

K- Are they going to kill us because we’ve been talking about tanning beds?

S- Probably.

K- I’ll talk to you later then.


***


K- Oh my God, I just had the weirdest dream!

S- Remember how we decided you wouldn’t tell me your dreams anymore because your subconscious is creepy?

K- I dreamed about Snooki! Only she looked like Sridevi from the Hawa Hawaii song and these Glowing Tubelight Whitening Cream Mafia Models were beating her up with tanning beds and shouting Snooki! Theerpu maathi sollu!

S- Eh?

K- I think that happened because I watched Nattamai before falling asleep. Anyway, then The Situation showed up only he looked like John Abraham and I said The Situation! Don’t just stand there, save The Snooki!

S- Nattamai! Theerpu maathi sollu!

K- And you know what he did? Dude starts taking off his clothes! I didn’t really mind that part of the dream actually. Anyway, then the Glowing Tubelight Whitening Cream Mafia Models liquidated HawaHawaiiSridevi and she turned into this plastic scented remote control protector with fluorescent green side strips.

S- I miss Hawa Hawaii Sridevi. I miss that Bollywood. What happened to it? Where did it go?

K- I know, right? Eye see you see something something Mombaasa ping pong.

S- You know what song I really miss? Tama Tama Loge.

K- Tu Premi.

S- A-ha!

K- Mein Premi.

S- A-ha!

K- Tu Raazi.

S- Ok, enough. Anyway, I hope this SnookiSridevi nightmare has cured your Jersey Shore obsession.

K- No way, I’m going to see if I can Torrent it. Hey, did I tell you I found this Jersey Shore Nickname generator online? Guess what my Jersey Shore name is. Guess guess.

S- The Stupid?

K- Pookie. Although I don’t think that name generator was designed for Indian names.

S- Wow, that’s racist.

K- Really?

S- Oh absolutely. Online nickname generators for American reality television shows that don’t cater to Indian names are definitely racist. You should complain.

K-
I’m going to start a Facebook page on Racist Jersey Shore Nickname Generators.

S- You go girl! Make Snooki proud!

*

from The New Indian Express Zeitgeist Supplement, Multiverse, Conversations, January 30, 2010

Thursday, January 28, 2010

New Work Up at FRiGG, The Tehelka Festivus Miracle Extended Remix, The Artist Formerly Known as The Artist and Apologies

15 comments
1. FRiGG's eagerly-awaited Law & Order Issue is finally up and live and kicking people in the jaw because it is very awesome. It has creepy dolls in it. This alone ups the awesomeness quotient significantly. I am soveryhappy to have a story in this issue called Notes Made in Connnection with the Disappearance of a Boy Outside the Tropicool Icy-Land Urban Indian Slum as Investigated by the Law & Order: Special Victims Unit.


2. The Tehelka Festivus Miracle continues to spread its tentacles of miracles even after the Festivus season has left the building. We are honored to receive photographic proof of this most haut and holy Tehelka Festivus Miracle which makes people smile and hold up magazines at the same time.



This louly lady once had jaundice and a pet shrimp called Caesar. She also lived in a "tree house", which was really just a collection of leaves tied together with string which had no door and she lived in this thing and it caused her mother much grief and hyperventilation and missed heartbeats. We are pleased to see that not only is she holding the magazine very effectively, she seems to be in much better lodgings which actually have walls.




This handsome man once had dengue fever and does not like to be called Bopsie. We also know that he is an ex-DJ and that he is often mistaken for "that Telegu actor" though which Telegu actor, we cannot say. He is holding the magazine so effectively that it has caused the ends of his mustaches to curl up ever so slightly.



And this veryfabulous individual is Blaft's very own Kaveri Lalchand. I'm not sure if she's had any tropical diseases but I do know that she sings Bon Jovi's 'Blaze of Glory' with an extraordinary amount of feeling and she once sent me this notebook that's apparently made from elephant poo and I'm still not sure how I feel about that but anyway, she is smiling and holding the magazine very effectively at Charu Nivedita's story, because we're all one, big happy family at Blaft.


3. We are very pleased to have some work from The Artist Formerly Known as The Artist, who took my piece firang and painted it on this vase type bamboo type possibly not bamboo type vase type thing.



I think it is so very much the fine. More so because The Artist was going through a no-profanity phase at the time and must have struggled while painting words like 'cowcunts' on the vase type bamboo type possibly not bamboo type vase type thing.


4. Sometimes things just sound way better when you add a lot of guitar to it, case in point, this version of Boom Boom Pow. The same guy has done a metal version of Benny Benassi's Satisfaction, which is also pretty awesome. There is also a good cover of Toxic but it sounds a lot like Static Lullaby's version. Toxic is a song which I feel sounds so much better when it's sung by a post-hardcore screamo fellow.


5. Last but definitely not least, apologies are in order. I would like to extend my deepest and most profound apologies to the people who came to this blog looking for-

a) free hottie in bikis- Is this some kind of biscuit porn? Or is it some kind of movement to free hot young things that are trapped in bikis? I wish I knew what a biki was. I really do.

b) good Lord cutting hair lyrics- The good Lord is not cutting hair on this blog. He is also not cutting hair lyrics, as far as I know.

c) shalini actor bybay fuck- Why? Why are you looking for a bybay fuck? Why?

okbai

k

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

These Are The Daves I Know I Know- Ellen Parker

13 comments
Today’s Dave is Ellen Parker who I like to call Allen and who is a writer and also the editor of the amazing zine FRiGG, which began way back in the spring of 2003 and is still here in all its awesomeness. Behold the FRiGG! Dig the bloodshotedness of the pretty eye!





Allen is also from the exotic land of America! America is where everyone is rich and happy and the streets are paved with marshmallows and Coca Cola grows on trees!

FRiGG was one of the first zines I ever fell in love with. FRiGG will also be putting out a themed issue very soon on …world peace? Poverty? Injuns are Just Like You and Me Except Most of Them Have Funny Names? NO! It’s going to be on the show Law and Order! I think more magazines should have themes like this.

I remember this one episode of Murphy Brown, where there was this guy from Minnesota and he had a wife called Ellen and 2 boys and whenever he referred to that segment of his family he called them Ellen and The Boys only I guess because he was from Minnesota he kept saying Allen and The Boys. If Ellen Parker ever starts a boy band, I think she should call it Allen and The Boys. I also think there was an 80’s country band called Bailie and The Boys. There was also a band from India called Les Boys. Anyway.




km- So you and I have 142 common friends (update-146) on Facebook, which means we’re superduper close friends. And yet I do not know why you named your magazine FRiGG. Did you really want to name it fuck?


ap- It makes me feel kind of bad that you think the magazine is named "fuck."

(km- I’m sorry. I don’t know why I even thought that because you never use the eff word ever.)

This is hideously crass--and yet it is partially correct. Yes, to some people, "frigg" means "fuck." To others, "Frigg" is a Norse goddess. She was the wife of Odin--in fact, she was the goddess of marriage, and her primary domain was the household ... but she allegedly had affairs with several men besides the hubby. Sassy! (So, "frigg" could also mean a married Norse goddess who ... well.)

(I have researched this matter: http://friggmagazine.com/volumeonearchive/parkerellenfriggquestion.htm)

Whereas "frigg" doesn't only mean "fuck," you're probably not the first person to think so. Sometimes I see bios of writers who have been in FRiGG but they don't include FRiGG among their publications, and this hurts my feelings a little, but then I think: Well, bitch, why would they want to include "fuck" among their list of publications?

Although I have heard of a print poetry magazine named "Fuck." A poet who was in FRiGG a while back told me that he'd also appeared in Fuck. I'm like, There's a magazine named Fuck? And he was like, Yeah, it's a good mag. So now that writer can list FRiGG and Fuck in his creds. I'm sure he's proud.



km- So what’s life like in America? No, I’m kidding. No seriously, what’s life like in America?


ap- Today in America I am freakin' sizzling mad that bankers might have given themselves large bonuses for their "work" in 2009. This absolutely makes me go ballistic and I want to rise up and slice off some people's heads.

(km- I don’t understand, why aren’t you talking about the Coca Cola trees?)



km- In an interview you did in 2006, you said that if you had to describe FRiGG in one word, it would be ‘good’. Is that how you would describe FRiGG today? How do you think FRiGG has changed since then?


ap- FRiGG is still "good." Sometimes it is "very good." Sometimes it is even "excellent"! Depends on your mood.



km- How would you describe Allen the writer in five words? They don’t have to be English words also. And you can make up words if you like.


ap- I love that you call me Allen! I would describe her (me) as a writer like this: "She is not ever disinterested." Wait--that's a double negative, which is confusing. How about: "She is always very interested." Hmmm. More like: "She is always very engaged." What's the point of writing if you're not engaged? (Why do we keep talking about marriage?)

(km- for work of allen the writer, see this awesome vid of Gabriel Orgrease reading/doing performance art type thing of her flash Home Pharmacy. You can also read this and this.)



km- Whenever I get rejected by a magazine, I like to blame it on racism or xenophobia. What do you like to blame rejection on?


ap- I like to blame rejection on the fact that some editors do not know how to fucking read.

(km- oh nice, illiteracy)




km- Please complete this little micro so I can send it out under the name KuzhaliEllen ManickavelParker and maybe finally get pubbed in elimae.

Coffee mornings hang in thick strands, curling around the heart like a long word that starts with ‘z’ and ends with ‘a’. It’s been three days since anything has happened here. It’s been the best three days ever.


ap- Coffee mornings hang in thick strands, curling around the heart like a long word that starts with ‘z’ and ends with ‘a’. It’s been three days since anything has happened here. It’s been the best three days ever. I am trying to think of a long word that starts with "z" and ends with "a." There is "zebra," but this is not long. Unless it's a zebra that is made out of rubber and then stretched like Gumby!

(km- so I decided to edit this a bit, you know really hone it down to the absolute crystal core, the ultimate being, the universal spark that makes this microfiction a living, breathing entity. So here it is,

coffee mornings. the best three days ever. gumby.

I took out the exclamation mark because I think muted tragedy is far more effective. I now believe it is too good for elimae and I will sub it under my own name because I did all the real work and all you really did was add Gumby, which I'm not really sure works but I kept it in anyway because I felt sorry for you.)




km- According to the ‘In what BADASS way will you TOP YOURSELF’? quiz, your result was that YOU WILL CUT YOUR OWN FLUNKING HEAD OFF IN FRONT OF A SCHOOL BUS. How do you see that happening and what are your feelings about the word ‘flunking’ being used as an expletive?


ap- Ohmigod, I love BADASS quizzes. They are the FUNNIEST ever. But I think Facebook banned them. Or else they made them use euphemisms for swear words. Like using "frigg" instead of "fuck." But this fools no one! So "flunking" is like "fucking" or "frigging." It's funny that they thought I would cut my own head off in front of a school bus. I forget why they thought I would do this. Actually, I would like to cut off bankers' heads in front of a school bus. A school bus full of American taxpayers. We would clap and cheer.

(km- Allen wanted to reiterate the following,)

Bio: Ellen Parker writes fiction and edits the online literary magazine called FRiGG, which is named for a goddess. A goddess, I tell you!

(km- here’s how I see the whole cutting off your own head thing happening. You are walking down the road paved with marshmallows and you have a chainsaw in your hand because you are going to cut some Coca Cola trees. And then you see this bunch of American bankers who are standing in front of a school bus that is filled with American taxpayers and you cut the bankers' heads off and everyone goes Yay Allen!! but they also say you have to go to jail because you made the marshmallow road dirty. And being unable to bear the thought of jail because maybe you’ve watched Oz and so you know all about what jails are really like, you take the chainsaw and cut your head off to avoid going to Oz where everyone eats oranges.)

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Conversations- Facebooking

10 comments
S- You spent the last 72 hours on Facebook? Do you realize how long 72 hours is?

K- Do you realize that Facebook can help you find the girl who sat behind you in college? I just found the girl who sat behind me and I looked at all her photographs. She’s posted 57 pictures of her hand.

S- Wow, was she on drugs?

K- I think they were supposed to be artistic or something. Anyway, she said she remembers sitting behind me in college which is so awesome because I remember sitting in front of her!

S- Why did she post 57 pictures of her hand?

K- I think some of them were of her kid.

S- That must be a weird-looking kid if it looks like a hand.

K- Anyway, I have to go work on my 25 Random Things You Should Know About Me list. I really want it to be funny and irreverent and thought-provoking and serious and heartwarming and edgy and funny.

S- And awesome?

K- And awesome. Definitely awesome.

S- Maybe there’s an online tutorial for that. How To Write A 25 Random Things You Should Know About Me List That Is Funny and Irreverent and Thought-Provoking and Serious and Heartwarming and Edgy and Awesome.

K- I’m going to go check.

***

K- It took me three whole days but it’s finally finished. And it is awesome.

S- Please please please don’t read it to me. Please.

K- Random fact #1. I love running marathons.

S- You mean you love watching people run marathons on TV.

K- Same thing. Random Fact #2. I love poor orphans.

S- You mean you love watching poor orphans on TV so you can change the channel if they aren’t singing and dancing properly.

K- Look, if I had to choose between a movie about aliens and a movie about poor orphans, I would choose the orphans. It’s like charity, if you think of charity as a non-conventional creatively ideative concept type thing entity thing.

S- An organically cooperative alternative creatively ideative concept type thing entity thing.

K- Exactly. Random Fact # 3. I am a medical marvel because I have two hearts.

S- Ok, not only is that gross, it’s a total lie whereas the other two are only partial lies.

K- How about I say I had one heart but I donated it to Africa?

S- Why are you lying like this on a random Facebook list?

K- Because I’m Facebook friends with people who say they’ve sailed around the world in shoeboxes and built solar-powered cars with chewing gum.

S- Who are these people?

K- I don’t really know, they’re Facebook friends.

S- So you’re making a list of lies to share with people you don’t really know.

K- I know the girl who sat behind me in college. Although I have this nagging feeling I actually sat in the last row. Oh my God.

S- What?

K- What if she’s really some obsessed person who’s stalking me on Facebook? What if she has nude pictures of me?

S- Oh my God! What if she took the nude pictures when she was sitting behind you in college?

K- Oh my God!

S- What if she’s really a sidey old uncle? Or aunty? What if she’s a sidey old uncle AND aunty?

K- OH MY GOD!

S- You should double-check those hand pictures. They probably aren’t hands at all.

K- Don’t say that!

S- They’re probably…oh, I can’t even say.

K- OH MY GOD! I’m going to go check. OH MY GOD!

S- You must have gone to a very sidey college if you had aunties and uncles sitting behind you taking nudie pictures.

*

from The New Indian Express Zeitgeist Supplement, Multiverse, Conversations, January 16, 2010

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Oz

9 comments
This post is not about burning Injuns in Australia. It's about the show. I’m almost finished watching Oz. I think I will shelve this among the shows I can watch once but probably not twice. So before I forget about the show and end up watching it all over again because I forgot I watched it already, here is Oz- Oru Pinnoki Payanam.

The Orange Prize- It seemed to me that everyone in Oz is always eating oranges. Adebisi liked to bite them like apples while Schillinger seemed to enjoy neatly peeling them, popping a piece into his mouth and chewing thoughtfully. There just seemed to be a lot of oranges in Oz.

Best Scene EverEverEver- Beecher and Schillinger singing The Last Duet . They both sing really well together and it’s a great song and it’s so very appropriate. If I remember Oz for anything, it will be for this song. Also Father Mukada’s cover of Leather by Tori Amos is awesome.

Fully Monty Award- Just like Queer as Folk showed us that all gay men are really haut when they are naked, Oz showed us that men in maximum-security prisons in America are well-muscled, mostly hairless, have great skin and for the most part, are reasonably well-endowed. Men who were not haut kept their shirts and pants on. Yay Oz!!

Magic Scar Award- To Miguel Alvarez, whose scar on his cheek was sometimes a thin line and sometimes a thick line and sometimes not there at all. He would qualify for all-round hottie if he hadn’t done that shit-smearing thing when he was in solitary. EEEEWWWW!!!

Awesome Hottie Award- Agamemnon Busmalis, particularly because during one season, you could see him speed walking in the background of a lot of scenes. Epic lulz.

Oh Wtf Sigh Award- The Chinese immigrants storyline. Just so oh wtf sigh.

Imprint Torture Scene Award- When Robson gets raped with a spoon.

Adebisi’s Hat Award- Goes to the Mayor from The Powerpuff Girls

Hey Look, It's Pepa! Award- Goes to Pepa from Salt n' Pepa who didn't really do much on the show but still made me go Hey Look, It's Pepa!

okbai.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

These Are The Daves I Know I Know- Rakesh Khanna

3 comments
Today’s Dave is Rakesh Khanna, the lone male and the lone Rakesh in the Blaft Publications trinity. I asked him to send picture for blog post and this is what he sent. It is an eyefoot.



It reminded me of some art I had done myself, which I call The Happy Dolphin.




But let us get back to the eyefoot.



If you are a good person, you will think that little anklet thing is a little anklet thing representative and celebratory of Indian ethnicity and culture. If you are not a good person, you will think it is a kind of footcuff made of string and used in extremely soft forms of bondage. The eye looks a lot like the eye found in drawings of murderous gigantic squid, like it’s saying ‘You want to start something, son? You want a piece of me, motherfucker? You want some Milk Bikis?’ Ok maybe the eye wouldn’t ask if you wanted Milk Bikis. If it did though, I’d say no because I remember that Biscuit Gang that haunted Indian trains many years ago. Don’t Take Milk Bikis From Eyes! What is a Biki?

Anyway, the eyefoot is Rakesh Khanna who is Dave. And this is the interview.




km- So I know for a fact that at one point you were totally into Nigerian movies and editing math text books at the same time. Now watch how I connect this with your strange reading habits. Ready? Ok, here goes. Because you watched Nigerian movies and edited math text books at the same time, I am curious to know what attracts you to writing that might be called left-of-center, stuff people don’t always hear about or dismiss as being too something or another. You are one of the very few people I know who actually seeks out/reads non-mainstream stuff. What do you look for when you look for something to read or will you read anything?


rk- I think I'm just the sort of person who gets a really big kick out of saying "Oooh! Look at this cool weird shiny thing I found!" If you only go to see the highest-grossing movies, and you only listen to music that gets a lot of radio play, and you only read books that have won the Booker prize or something, then you are basically killing your chances of ever getting to excitedly tell all your friends about a brand new discovery.

On the other hand, if the only movies you watch are ones that do really badly at the box office, and the only books you read are ones that get bad reviews or whatever, then you're going to end up watching and reading a lot of lousy crap. A good way around this problem is to find things that are very popular in cultures that are really different than yours. Like, say, Nollywood movies. Nobody in India or in the U.S. knows about them. But they're massively popular in Nigeria, so you can safely bet that there's some good stuff there worth checking out while you're cleaning up a mess of multistep trigonometry solutions where the authors have incorrectly used significant figures and ended up with massive rounding errors.

(km- 'A good way around this problem is to find things that are very popular in cultures that are really different than yours.' word that.)






km- One of your posts on the blaft blog was about weird English writing on children’s clothing. What are some of the things that have struck you about English in India, in the literature and how it is used on things like clothing, song lyrics, etc?


rk- Actually I kind of want to skip this one because I've started to worry that we're obsessing a little too much about the English language on each others' blogs. I wouldn't mind talking about it so much if it wasn't called "English" -- it seems like we're talking about England, and we're not.

(km- word that too. And yes, this is so not about England.)







km- Five of the strangest books/short stories you’ve read. Go.


* "Or All the Seas with Oysters" by Avram Davidson.

* "Like a Velvet Glove Cast in Iron" by Daniel Clowes, and pretty much everything else from Eightball comics. There was a short piece about a furry rodent-thing and some ear buds that kind of won for weird.

* Liner Notes for Composition 165 (for 18 instruments) by Anthony Braxton.

* "The Epileptic Bicycle" by Edward Gorey.

(km- niiiiice title)

* "Ghost of Hoppers" by Jaime Hernandez. Grown-up Margarita Luisa Perlita Chascarillo is hands-down the hottest illustrated woman of all time. Like, in every frame. Ok yeah I know the question was about weirdness and not about hot illustrated women but still.

(km- I just realized that I don’t know who the hands-down hottest illustrated man of all time is. I must remedy this immediately.)

I wanted to include a couple of things Blaft has published in the list but then I thought I'd keep 'em separate.

* "Zero Degree" by Charu Nivedita.

* "Some Singular Event" by you.

(km- aw tanks)



km- You guys were at the Frankfurt Book fair a while back. What were some of the things about the book fair that really surprised you?


rk- How big it was. The number of hip Euro book-chicks with hip designer lime green specs and sassy business attitudes. The legions of German manga fans in outrageous homemade costumes.

(km- what's the difference between lime green and green apple green and green tea green?)




km- What’s with you and poetry?


rk- Not into it.

I'll admit that I have actually liked a poem once in a rare while. I went through an e e cummings phase in high school and "Salamandra" by Octavio Paz is super deadly and Allen Ginsberg's "Howl" is pretty great. Old poetry and epic poetry I'm ok with, Homer and Chaucer and the Icelandic Edda and all that. But most modern English poetry just rubs me the wrong way, all that wasted white space on the page bugs me and whenever I have to sit through readings I get really badly squirmy and uncomfortable.


(km- I’m going to write you a poem using the bad rhyme generator. Here goes.

rakesh khanna does not dig poetry
for the living outnumber the dead tonight
but that which has the most poetry.
Donkeys are always right

I bet this could get published if you sent it to the right place. I bet you it could)






km- One thing we have in common is we have very…oh, what’s the word…‘unconventional’ crushes. I’m not ashamed to admit that I’ve had an on-again, off-again crush on John Goodman and there was a time when I crushed on Jerry Springer. Now I don’t think your fascination with Chinnaponnu qualifies as an ‘unconventional’ crush because I sort of understand the attraction. But I would like to know what you like about her and how you first heard about her.


rk- I picked up a copy of her album Marikkozhunthe in Landmark several years ago mostly because she looked so hot on the album cover holding that goat in her arms. I was hooked from the first track, which is the super-rocking "Aadukku Thaara Vachcha", and then there is the slow and heartbreaking "Anbulam Konden Ammavukku Magal Ezhutham Kadidham" later on... that whole album is just so awesome. And then her Sivapaththikaram song was really good, and then there is "Nakku Mukku" of course... I dunno, she's just great. I really really really hope she comes for Sangamam cuz I missed her last year.

(km- ‘Anbulam Konden Ammavukku Magal Ezhutham Kadidham’, totally agree, great song)




km- I love many, many things about the show Torchwood (yay Ianto Jones!!). Like in one episode, this guy ends up going insane and screaming (like I-think-my-spine-just-decalcified-itself screaming) for 20 hours a day because he looked into the heart of a Dark Star (he had also been sucked into The Rift and been on a burning planet so maybe the whole Dark Star thing was just the last straw). What do you think he saw in the heart of the Dark Star? What would make you go so insane you would scream for 20 hours a day?


rk- Actually I have mostly managed to avoid American TV for many years, except on rare occasions when family members become obsessed with something and start buying DVDs of entire seasons. So I have never seen Torchwood and don't know really what you're talking about. There was an old John Carpenter movie they used to play on TV called Dark Star, which was a goofy low-budg comedy about a bunch of guys on an incredibly boring decades-long space journey, and they've got an alien pet who's very obviously made out of a beach ball, and then they've got to teach phenomenology to a computerized explosive device that's gone off its rocker. I enjoyed that movie. Here are a couple of things that would make me go insane and scream for 20 hours a day: Over-exposure to Hotel California by the Eagles or Summer of 69 by Bryan Adams; being forced to eat mayonnaise.

(km- Torchwood is British so avoid no longer! According to Wikipedia, which is always completely right and true, "A dark star is a theoretical type of star that may have existed early in the history of the universe before conventional stars were able to form. They would be composed mostly of normal matter, like modern stars, but a high concentration of neutralino dark matter within them would generate heat via annihilation reactions between the dark matter particles." This dark matter could very well be the songs Hotel California and Summer of 69 played on indefinite loop on a planet where it is always your birthday and everyone is so happy and giving you lots of presents which are bottles and bottles of mayonnaise and your cake is made of mayonnaise and they force you to eat the cake and you're like NO! but they don't listen and you get so sick you pass out and when you get up it's your birthday all over again. Although I kinda like mayonnaise. But I'm with you on the Hotel California and Summer of 69.)

Saturday, January 2, 2010

New Work at Mud Luscious and Also Some Other Things Also

14 comments
I have a very short piece called firang up at mud luscious.

ml press will be publishing a chapbook of one of my pieces called Three Scenarios Leading to the Rape of a Teenage Girl in the Tropicool Icy-land Urban Indian Slum. If you order it now, it is only $2.

Interesting Lesson of the New Year- ‘Buenos Nachos Hombre’ apparently does not mean ‘Happy New Year’ in Spanish.

Music That Made Me Happy- Bad Man by Missy Elliot featuring Vybz Kartel and M.I.A.. The Leningrad Cowboys cover of My Sharona

Music That I Unintentionally Listened to on Loop – 'I’m Not an Actor’ by MLTR. There is this one line where I thought he was saying ‘even in my hearts I know’, which I thought was neat because it implied he had two hearts which is neat. Then I thought he said ‘even though my arts are low’ which wasn’t so neat because it was like oh I am tortured artist and I was like whatever. Then I found out he was actually saying ‘even though my odds are low’. MLTR also had a song where the chorus went 'that's why you go away and away.' Because sometimes one away just isn't enough.

Pritham Chakravarthy now has a blog. She is the illustrious translator behind The Blaft Anthology of Tamil Pulp Fiction, Zero Degree by Charu Nivedita and Where Are You Going, You Monkeys? — Folktales from Tamil Nadu by Ki. Rajanarayanan.

Other Things To Ponder- ‘24’ once showed a Big Bad Muslim Terrorist Area while playing Mann Ke Manjeere in the background, possibly because Indipop songs about women’s empowerment are very terroristy. One of the Muslim inmates on ‘Oz’ was called Sanjay Afsana, because Sanjay is a well-known Muslim name. In a movie whose name escapes me at the moment but probably had great music, Ramarajan wore a shiny shirt with shiny bow tie and sunglasses because he was from America and that’s what Americans dress like when they come from America.

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